I do not mean the thirst of dehydration in our increasingly inhospitable landscapes under the reign of global warming; I mean a more unquenchable desire.
The mysterious yearning of which I speak, of course, is skater lust.
I was horrified; she was not: “What’s 0 for a little skater love?
” Search “skater boys” on Twitter and a flood of horny, infatuated tweets will cascade down your screen like a perfectly executed drop-in on a sweet ramp.
I was skeptical of the second dalliance because the skater in question was quite a bit younger.
They range from tender longing (“Skater boys will forever have my heart”) to unbridled desire (“I love y’all disgusting ass skater boys come kiss me on the face fuck me up”). She noted that their athletic bods were often banged up in a perfect Goldilocks ratio of smooth, sun-kissed skin to skating scars.
Still more express mixed feelings (“I love skater boys but they’re so vicious”) and pondered what engagement with a skater boy might to do them (Poll: Skater boys will … “The appeal began just because they’re so sexually nonaggressive, which is rare and refreshing in men,” she explained more seriously.
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She has so many projects under her belt, it's obvious as to why we all love her!